Wildness Revealed
by Shilpa Shah
Today I write from London. I’m off to Iceland soon, to work with Orca Guardians for a few days, supporting organisational strategy development and, of course, being your trusty correspondent on this blog.
I will join Orca Guardians and Láki Tours on the daily boat trips, for research and whale-watching with tourist passengers.
This is my third opportunity to look for orcas.
My love for orcas is second only to my love for… I am struggling to finish this sentence. So I am very excited, of course. And there is something else; nervousness and anxiety.
I notice different voices inside, battling it out.
There is the Excited Me, cartwheeling and whooping ‘Orcas! Orcas!’ Like a chant at a football match.
And Slightly Anxious Me, biting her nails. She whispers ‘I have experienced trips where I spent three hours looking at a blank horizon…. What if I don’t get to see ANY orcas?’
Somewhere in the background sits a quieter, more practical, Chilled Me. In fact, she looks a bit like me right now, sitting in the library, looking out the window at birds on the pond while I write this.
Chilled Me clears her throat and addresses the other two in a voice that sounds like silk. She says ‘You know what sweethearts, it’s nature… ‘
Excited Me interrupts – ‘YEAH but ORCAS… yee ha!’
Chilled Me takes a breath. ‘Look, you both know the orcas go where the herring goes. The herring goes where it can find food. We have absolutely no control over that – and neither do other human beings.’
Slightly Anxious Me snaps back ‘But what if we don’t see them, it would be so unfair!’
Chilled Me replies – ‘The Laki Tours people know their stuff – if there are orcas there, you know they will find them. I understand it would feel difficult to miss them, but it’s not actually unfair is it? It’s unlucky for that trip. It’s nature doing its thing. You just have to be prepared to try again.’
Slightly Anxious Me isn’t convinced. ‘But I worked hard to get here! I deserve to see them! Someone totally has it in for me if I don’t get to see them!’
Chilled Me loses her cool. ‘You know what, darling. That’s nonsense. No-one has it in for you! Orcas do not exist only for your pleasure. They are gloriously wild and free. Seeing them is a real blessing, a magical experience. This is one of the best places in the world to do so. You need patience! If you’re demanding that you should DEFINITELY see them on a boat trip, how different is it to going to see them – with 100% certainty – in a tank in a water park?’
With that she turns back to the window and crosses her arms.
My current window view in London
All voices go quiet for a minute and the message sinks in.
‘Wildness is not found but revealed’, said conservationist Paul Gruchow. As the different voices in me relax, I notice I feel deeply grateful. Grateful for the wildness of orcas and grateful for the chance to enjoy whichever revelations may come my way.
